Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Check out my new personal website.
Check out my new personal website www.maryjlore.com where you can find my daily advice and tips on how to manage your thoughts in the situations and circumstances we deal with everyday.
I look forward to seeing you there.
©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
I look forward to seeing you there.
©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Self-Awareness is Key to Achieving True Happiness
In my last blog on Choosing and Experiencing Happiness, I talked about the difference between emotional happiness and true happiness. I had the opportunity to really experience this last week when my father nearly died.
In my workshops, I ask folks to notice what happens as we listen to the songs Happy Birthday, Taps, Auld Lang Syne, and The Wedding March. We all experience a series of thoughts and feelings, and the happy or unhappy emotions that follow depending on the thoughts. Yet nothing has really happened to us. We’re just sitting there listening to a set of songs. If we are not aware, we mask our true nature, the state of being—true happiness—that is always present, no matter what the external circumstances. We say we’re happy or unhappy, when all that has happened is our brains have presented to us the thoughts and feelings we had when we heard those songs before.
When I practice self-awareness, I look AT the thoughts and feelings presented to me by my brain, instead of FROM them and I discover that I can experience sadness, grief, anger, and other “unhappy” emotions AND at the same time, I can remain truly happy.
Let’s take my experience last week: I phoned my father. He was incoherent. I dropped everything to go to my parent’s house. During my half-hour drive, my brain presented me with numerous thoughts: This could be it! Dad could die today. How could Mom (who is suffering from dementia) not notice that he was incoherent? What if I hadn’t called? What if I wasn’t in town? What am I going to do with Mom?
I also had thoughts of anger at my mom for having dementia and at my dad for not making the decision to move into a senior community where he could have care for her and he could get some rest, have some peace of mind, and have a life. I found my breathing shallow, my heart racing, my jaw and hands clenched.
The essence of every thought is either love or fear. Those rooted in love emanate from and result in true happiness. Those rooted in fear result in emotional unhappiness or short-lived emotional happiness. Looking AT my thoughts, I could see that my brain was presenting me with fight, flight or freeze thoughts—fear, blame, judgment, criticism, worry—all fear-based thoughts that result in emotional unhappiness.
I set my intention: I choose love.
I began thinking thoughts of thankfulness: I am thankful I call Dad every day. I am thankful he answered the phone. I am thankful I am in town and can be there for my parents. I am thankful we have access to great medical care. I am thankful my parents and I have a great relationship, that we have had the opportunity to spend quality time with each other and that we enjoy each other’s company.
Then thoughts of wonder: What can I say or do right now that’s of highest service? How can I help my parents and me? And then ideas came rushing through – Call Dad’s doctor. Ask for advice to help Dad given various scenarios. Ask for referrals on nursing aids for my mom. Remain calm. Help Mom and Dad feel safe. Demonstrate love in every action. Love and trust the flow and process of life.
With these thoughts, I moved out of fight, flight, or freeze and back in touch with the truly happy me. I like to follow the example of the Great Lakes—while the surface of the waters can become rough and excited, deep down, it is very still. So over the course of the next week, although the circumstances were difficult, I could remain in a powerful place. I could experience a number of “unhappy” emotions, feel them (not suppress them), acknowledge them, thank my brain for sharing, and then choose thoughts which move me in a direction that truly serves my purpose, bring me peace, inspire me, and invoke true happiness.
P.S. My Dad’s now better than well and my Mom is doing fine.
©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
In my workshops, I ask folks to notice what happens as we listen to the songs Happy Birthday, Taps, Auld Lang Syne, and The Wedding March. We all experience a series of thoughts and feelings, and the happy or unhappy emotions that follow depending on the thoughts. Yet nothing has really happened to us. We’re just sitting there listening to a set of songs. If we are not aware, we mask our true nature, the state of being—true happiness—that is always present, no matter what the external circumstances. We say we’re happy or unhappy, when all that has happened is our brains have presented to us the thoughts and feelings we had when we heard those songs before.
When I practice self-awareness, I look AT the thoughts and feelings presented to me by my brain, instead of FROM them and I discover that I can experience sadness, grief, anger, and other “unhappy” emotions AND at the same time, I can remain truly happy.
Let’s take my experience last week: I phoned my father. He was incoherent. I dropped everything to go to my parent’s house. During my half-hour drive, my brain presented me with numerous thoughts: This could be it! Dad could die today. How could Mom (who is suffering from dementia) not notice that he was incoherent? What if I hadn’t called? What if I wasn’t in town? What am I going to do with Mom?
I also had thoughts of anger at my mom for having dementia and at my dad for not making the decision to move into a senior community where he could have care for her and he could get some rest, have some peace of mind, and have a life. I found my breathing shallow, my heart racing, my jaw and hands clenched.
The essence of every thought is either love or fear. Those rooted in love emanate from and result in true happiness. Those rooted in fear result in emotional unhappiness or short-lived emotional happiness. Looking AT my thoughts, I could see that my brain was presenting me with fight, flight or freeze thoughts—fear, blame, judgment, criticism, worry—all fear-based thoughts that result in emotional unhappiness.
I set my intention: I choose love.
I began thinking thoughts of thankfulness: I am thankful I call Dad every day. I am thankful he answered the phone. I am thankful I am in town and can be there for my parents. I am thankful we have access to great medical care. I am thankful my parents and I have a great relationship, that we have had the opportunity to spend quality time with each other and that we enjoy each other’s company.
Then thoughts of wonder: What can I say or do right now that’s of highest service? How can I help my parents and me? And then ideas came rushing through – Call Dad’s doctor. Ask for advice to help Dad given various scenarios. Ask for referrals on nursing aids for my mom. Remain calm. Help Mom and Dad feel safe. Demonstrate love in every action. Love and trust the flow and process of life.
With these thoughts, I moved out of fight, flight, or freeze and back in touch with the truly happy me. I like to follow the example of the Great Lakes—while the surface of the waters can become rough and excited, deep down, it is very still. So over the course of the next week, although the circumstances were difficult, I could remain in a powerful place. I could experience a number of “unhappy” emotions, feel them (not suppress them), acknowledge them, thank my brain for sharing, and then choose thoughts which move me in a direction that truly serves my purpose, bring me peace, inspire me, and invoke true happiness.
P.S. My Dad’s now better than well and my Mom is doing fine.
©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Choose and Experience Happiness Every Day – Starting Today on Positive Thinking Day
In the workshops I do, whether we are discussing a life well-lived, a job well-done, a great relationship, a corporate culture, or a well-executed strategy, when we ask what is the essence of what we truly want, the answer is always happiness.
To me, there are two kinds of happiness – emotional happiness and true happiness.
Emotional happiness is momentary. Fleeting. It doesn’t last and attachment to emotional happiness eventually results in its opposite—sadness. True happiness, on the other hand, just is. It remains steadfast no matter what happens.
Emotional happiness changes according to my mood and depends upon my interpretations of and reactions to external circumstances and the behavior of other people. True happiness is a state of well-being and contentment that remains unchanged by external circumstances.
True happiness begins with self-awareness. Learning what brings about true happiness takes self-awareness. Being true to who I am, choosing thoughts rooted in love vs. fear, takes self-awareness.
Self-awareness involves looking at our thoughts, noticing the thoughts that are presented to us by our brains, creating a pause to add light, and choosing thoughts that are in alignment with who I am and who I aspire to be in this moment.
Most of us have not thought about our thoughts. I know I didn’t. Before I started practicing self-awareness and managing my thoughts, I had no idea what I was thinking. I was not aware of the thousands of choices and decisions I was making each day that were not serving my purpose and moving me away from experiencing true happiness.
When I started looking at my thoughts, I became aware of the power of thought—aware that each thought either leads me to true happiness or it doesn’t. And I could practice choosing thoughts that make me truly happy – that are in alignment with who I am and who I aspire to be.
When we, as individuals and organizations, are being true to ourselves, living our truth, that truth offers more happiness and love of our selves and others than we can imagine. Our souls sing. We are inspired and impactful in all we do. We achieve significant results and long-lasting success.
And the ripple effect is of considerable magnitude. Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Let’s be truly happy, content, at peace. Let’s make that difference.
©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
To me, there are two kinds of happiness – emotional happiness and true happiness.
Emotional happiness is momentary. Fleeting. It doesn’t last and attachment to emotional happiness eventually results in its opposite—sadness. True happiness, on the other hand, just is. It remains steadfast no matter what happens.
Emotional happiness changes according to my mood and depends upon my interpretations of and reactions to external circumstances and the behavior of other people. True happiness is a state of well-being and contentment that remains unchanged by external circumstances.
True happiness begins with self-awareness. Learning what brings about true happiness takes self-awareness. Being true to who I am, choosing thoughts rooted in love vs. fear, takes self-awareness.
Self-awareness involves looking at our thoughts, noticing the thoughts that are presented to us by our brains, creating a pause to add light, and choosing thoughts that are in alignment with who I am and who I aspire to be in this moment.
Most of us have not thought about our thoughts. I know I didn’t. Before I started practicing self-awareness and managing my thoughts, I had no idea what I was thinking. I was not aware of the thousands of choices and decisions I was making each day that were not serving my purpose and moving me away from experiencing true happiness.
When I started looking at my thoughts, I became aware of the power of thought—aware that each thought either leads me to true happiness or it doesn’t. And I could practice choosing thoughts that make me truly happy – that are in alignment with who I am and who I aspire to be.
When we, as individuals and organizations, are being true to ourselves, living our truth, that truth offers more happiness and love of our selves and others than we can imagine. Our souls sing. We are inspired and impactful in all we do. We achieve significant results and long-lasting success.
And the ripple effect is of considerable magnitude. Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Let’s be truly happy, content, at peace. Let’s make that difference.
©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
Friday, February 5, 2010
The Super Bowl Inspires a Lesson in Managing Thought
I was in Indianapolis recently to share my Managing Thought® workshop with a group of Vistage CEOs. Usually, I start my presentation right away. This time, another speaker was scheduled before me and I was invited to sit in.
We all listened intently to Allison Melangton, the CEO of the 2012 Indianapolis Super Bowl Host Committee, as she walked us through the process to bring the event to a successful reality. We were amazed at the enormity of the project and that it would be put into play by only fifteen employees with the help of thousands of volunteers.
We were also impressed that Allison and her team had developed some pretty creative solutions to overcome obstacles and meet challenges, with outcomes that truly benefited the city, its communities, and its citizens – of all ages and walks of life.
As I listened, I realized that this is a success story in Managing Thought.
In my book and workshops, I talk about how, when we know we know who we truly are and what we truly want, invoke a sense of wonder, and practice thankfulness, remarkable things happen. We are able to access our highest awareness and creativity. Ideas flow easily. Goals and action plans pop out crystal clear for us to see. Because these goals come from within and are aligned with who we truly are and what we truly want, we are inspired. When we are inspired we know what to do next and how to do it. We are energized and in the zone (that’s Super Bowl talk!)
From a Managing Thought perspective, these creative and purposeful solutions presented themselves to Allison and her team because they had decided what they truly wanted. It wasn’t just to host the Super Bowl in Indianapolis. They determined the essence of what they wanted - their purpose – to utilize every resource, human and otherwise, and every dollar generated from the Super Bowl to benefit the community, long-term and short-term. And they are truly thankful for the opportunity to do so.
When an obstacle arose, they didn’t blame anyone or act like victims. Instead, they invoked the sense of wonder to find their answers. And because they established vision and purpose and were thankful for the opportunity, the ideas that flowed brought answers to their questions AND fulfilled their purpose.
Several CEOs remarked that they would NEVER want Allison’s job and asked what kept her so energized and enthusiastic. Her eyes and face lit up even more when she shared that what brought her joy was the difference that the Super Bowl would make on the kids, particularly the disadvantaged kids, in Indianapolis. She proceeded to describe the myriad of ways, pre- and post-event, short term and long term, that the Super Bowl would impact the lives of these kids.
Allison knows who she is and what she truly wants. As a result, her goals come from within and she is inspired. Her creativity abounds. She knows what to do next and how to do it. She’s energized and happy. She is invoking her light and making a difference. And I am inspired.
©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
We all listened intently to Allison Melangton, the CEO of the 2012 Indianapolis Super Bowl Host Committee, as she walked us through the process to bring the event to a successful reality. We were amazed at the enormity of the project and that it would be put into play by only fifteen employees with the help of thousands of volunteers.
We were also impressed that Allison and her team had developed some pretty creative solutions to overcome obstacles and meet challenges, with outcomes that truly benefited the city, its communities, and its citizens – of all ages and walks of life.
As I listened, I realized that this is a success story in Managing Thought.
In my book and workshops, I talk about how, when we know we know who we truly are and what we truly want, invoke a sense of wonder, and practice thankfulness, remarkable things happen. We are able to access our highest awareness and creativity. Ideas flow easily. Goals and action plans pop out crystal clear for us to see. Because these goals come from within and are aligned with who we truly are and what we truly want, we are inspired. When we are inspired we know what to do next and how to do it. We are energized and in the zone (that’s Super Bowl talk!)
From a Managing Thought perspective, these creative and purposeful solutions presented themselves to Allison and her team because they had decided what they truly wanted. It wasn’t just to host the Super Bowl in Indianapolis. They determined the essence of what they wanted - their purpose – to utilize every resource, human and otherwise, and every dollar generated from the Super Bowl to benefit the community, long-term and short-term. And they are truly thankful for the opportunity to do so.
When an obstacle arose, they didn’t blame anyone or act like victims. Instead, they invoked the sense of wonder to find their answers. And because they established vision and purpose and were thankful for the opportunity, the ideas that flowed brought answers to their questions AND fulfilled their purpose.
Several CEOs remarked that they would NEVER want Allison’s job and asked what kept her so energized and enthusiastic. Her eyes and face lit up even more when she shared that what brought her joy was the difference that the Super Bowl would make on the kids, particularly the disadvantaged kids, in Indianapolis. She proceeded to describe the myriad of ways, pre- and post-event, short term and long term, that the Super Bowl would impact the lives of these kids.
Allison knows who she is and what she truly wants. As a result, her goals come from within and she is inspired. Her creativity abounds. She knows what to do next and how to do it. She’s energized and happy. She is invoking her light and making a difference. And I am inspired.
©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
The Ultimate Resolution – Peace, Happiness, and Making a Difference
Mark Twain said, “Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”
For many of us, it seems that no matter how motivated by our resolutions, we go back to the way we were. We say life happens, we don’t have will power, or we lack discipline. Thankfully, these are NOT the reasons our resolutions don’t work. The difficulty lies in the process. Feel free to check out my Forward Thinking™ reminder, Keeping Resolutions, for specific guidance on how to reframe your resolutions to achieve long-lasting success.
For now, let’s get to the heart of matter: What do I really want to resolve? And how do I achieve it?
In my experience, it doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, or what you do for a living, at the very essence, we all want the same thing—to be happy, at peace, and of service (to make a difference.)
If we get to the essence of any resolution, whether it be to lose weight, quit smoking, reduce stress, exercise more, get balance, or be more present, we discover that the essence of what we want, what we are resolving, is to be happy, at peace, and of service (to make a difference.)
So let’s start there. At the essence. Let’s ring out the old, and ring in the new. Let’s ring in peace, happiness, and making a difference.
How? With a single step in self-awareness: Noticing Need to, Have to, Should, and Must thoughts and replacing them with powerful thoughts.
Need to, Have to, Should, and Must thoughts suck the life out of us. They work against us in so many ways. They bring about force, criticism, blame, judgment, frustration, anxiety, and worry. They deplete our energy. They bring about attachment to one outcome. They block our ability to discover the reality we are choosing and to experience the joy of being on purpose or to discover we are not being true to ourselves. They prevent us from making a difference or seeing that we are making a difference. They close the door to our highest awareness and creativity. They do not inspire.
So the next time you catch yourself thinking or saying, Need to, Have to, Should, and Must, simply observe it, without blame or judgment, and do a do-over. Repeat whatever you just thought or said, replacing the Need to, Have to, Should, or Must with a powerful thought.
We have a buffet of powerful thoughts from which to choose (I love buffets!):
We all have different styles. See which thoughts feel right to you. One thought may feel powerful in one circumstance, and a different thought feels powerful in another. This is what self-awareness is all about. Noticing your thoughts and feelings and choosing thoughts that serve your purpose.
I invite you to try it. Ring out the old. Ring in the new. See what happens.
The ripple effect is of considerable magnitude.
PS If you want to measure the impact of putting your resolution into practice, feel free to take the How Do Your Thoughts Rule Your World?™ self-assessment, save your results, and take it again in four to six weeks to see the difference.
©2009 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
For many of us, it seems that no matter how motivated by our resolutions, we go back to the way we were. We say life happens, we don’t have will power, or we lack discipline. Thankfully, these are NOT the reasons our resolutions don’t work. The difficulty lies in the process. Feel free to check out my Forward Thinking™ reminder, Keeping Resolutions, for specific guidance on how to reframe your resolutions to achieve long-lasting success.
For now, let’s get to the heart of matter: What do I really want to resolve? And how do I achieve it?
In my experience, it doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, or what you do for a living, at the very essence, we all want the same thing—to be happy, at peace, and of service (to make a difference.)
If we get to the essence of any resolution, whether it be to lose weight, quit smoking, reduce stress, exercise more, get balance, or be more present, we discover that the essence of what we want, what we are resolving, is to be happy, at peace, and of service (to make a difference.)
So let’s start there. At the essence. Let’s ring out the old, and ring in the new. Let’s ring in peace, happiness, and making a difference.
How? With a single step in self-awareness: Noticing Need to, Have to, Should, and Must thoughts and replacing them with powerful thoughts.
Need to, Have to, Should, and Must thoughts suck the life out of us. They work against us in so many ways. They bring about force, criticism, blame, judgment, frustration, anxiety, and worry. They deplete our energy. They bring about attachment to one outcome. They block our ability to discover the reality we are choosing and to experience the joy of being on purpose or to discover we are not being true to ourselves. They prevent us from making a difference or seeing that we are making a difference. They close the door to our highest awareness and creativity. They do not inspire.
So the next time you catch yourself thinking or saying, Need to, Have to, Should, and Must, simply observe it, without blame or judgment, and do a do-over. Repeat whatever you just thought or said, replacing the Need to, Have to, Should, or Must with a powerful thought.
We have a buffet of powerful thoughts from which to choose (I love buffets!):
- I choose
- I am committed to
- I am thankful that
- I wonder how I could
- It would be great if
- I wonder what’s possible
- It’s important to me that
We all have different styles. See which thoughts feel right to you. One thought may feel powerful in one circumstance, and a different thought feels powerful in another. This is what self-awareness is all about. Noticing your thoughts and feelings and choosing thoughts that serve your purpose.
I invite you to try it. Ring out the old. Ring in the new. See what happens.
The ripple effect is of considerable magnitude.
PS If you want to measure the impact of putting your resolution into practice, feel free to take the How Do Your Thoughts Rule Your World?™ self-assessment, save your results, and take it again in four to six weeks to see the difference.
©2009 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Holiday Stress Management: How to Reduce Stress and Experience Peace of Mind this Season
With holiday plays and parties to attend, cards to mail, gifts to buy, baking to do, guests to prepare for, and a slashed budget to boot, you may find yourself tied up in ribbons. Yet focusing on the essence of what you want is one of the most powerful ways of thinking to reduce stress and bring about peace and happiness during the holidays.
During these stressful times, we may find ourselves consumed with thoughts of worry, self-criticism, frustration, and even anger. Thinking about the essence of what we want, on the other hand, raises us to a new level of consciousness, gives us the ability to discover what truly matters to us, receive ideas on what to do next, and experience peace and happiness.
Here are some practices to help you discover the essence of what you want:
©2009 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
During these stressful times, we may find ourselves consumed with thoughts of worry, self-criticism, frustration, and even anger. Thinking about the essence of what we want, on the other hand, raises us to a new level of consciousness, gives us the ability to discover what truly matters to us, receive ideas on what to do next, and experience peace and happiness.
Here are some practices to help you discover the essence of what you want:
- Stop thinking, “I have to,” “I need to” or “I should” thoughts. As soon as you catch yourself thinking one of these judgmental – and exhausting – thoughts, restate your thoughts using the words, “I choose,” “I am committed to,” “It would be great if” or “I wonder how I can” and notice what happens. These powerful thoughts help us relax, discover what we really want and open us to the many ideas on how to achieve it.
- List everything you think you want to accomplish during the holidays, and ask yourself, “What does this bring me?” for each item. Keep asking and answering the question “What does this bring me?” until you get to the essence of what you want. If the essence of what we want brings us peace or inspires us, we open ourselves to the myriad of possibilities on how to fulfill what we truly want. If the essence does not bring us peace, then we can cross the item off our list or choose another way to think about it.
- Take a deep breath focusing on the exhale and think “I wonder what truly matters in this moment?” Reinvoking the state of wonder is a sure-fire way to reduce stress, spark creativity, and keep us fully present and focused on what really brings us peace and joy.
©2009 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.
For more on this topic and how to manage your thoughts in everyday circumstances and how to deal with the challenges you face in practicing self-awareness and being on purpose, Click Here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
